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You are Here: Home > Love Stories > My First Love > FoReVeR YoUrS

by CRiStAL
I was in my first few months of Junior High when this happened.It was a normal,ordinary day.I woke up,got dressed, got on the bus and went to school.I arrived there and was just hanging out with my gurlfriends.Then a few minutes later the bell rang and i walked in to 1st period,but i had never ever imagined that i'd meet my first love at that day,especially at SkEwL.Well,I walked up to my group of friends and we started talking i noticed that there was a new guy.He was all by himself,kneeling down and looking down at the ground.I couldn't see his face but he had strawberry-blond hair,a bowl-like haircut(wich i thought was very cute) and was very freckly.I don't know why but he got my attention.I kept looking at him from a distance when he suddenly caught my eye.I immediately looked away and started to blush furiousely.Then i looked at him again.I later found out what his name was and to my surprise, that we shared a couple of classes together.At first I was sort of intimidated by his mysterious ways.Like, he was always by himself,he hardly talked to anyone and i don't know, there was just SOMETHING about him.And since evryone kept saying that he was mean ,that made me even more skeptical about going up to him and initiating a conversation.Then later on I made small talk and stuff.One of my gurlfriends had told everyone in 1st period that I had a crush on him.I hadn't even thought of it as a CRUSH more like a minor attraction but nothing more.It was during the second semester when we started to become closer..I noticed that he had very beautiful light green eyes,a turned up nose and cute baby teeth.I realized that i was starting to get very attracted to him in other ways than just friends.We had become friends. We started to talk and hang out more.I even told him to his face that i liked him.He was just nice about it but he didn't say anything.I started to think that maybe he was attracted to me too. But he kept on sending me all these mixed signals .He made little remarks that suddenly filled me with hope and then other times he said things that completely dissapointed me.a few months passed, I was flirting with him all the time but i wasn't alltogether sure if he picked up my signals.We grew to be closer friends friends,we even started to hang out almost everyday.I wanted to move up a notch what we had but he didn't seem to want to.Then I started to do all these crazy things to try to get him to notice me.Like one day,I decided to write his name all over a page in my school notebook.Then one day Travis(this guy friend)took it and showed everyone.Carlyn found out about it.Everyone was making such a big deal out of it.I was kinda embarrassed cuz i didn't want him to think i was like psycho-chick or something.But when we were alone he told me that he din't mind.He didn't care what people said and i was soo happy.So then week afer week my crush was getting bigger and bigger.There was just a month left til the end of the schoolyear and i was dreading everyday of it.It was so crazy.There wasn't one night when i didn't dream of him.Then 1 week passed,2 weeks passed,3 weeks passed and there it was, The last week of school.I was soo upset.The mere thought of not having him by my side brought tears to my eyes.I prayed that the days would go slow,But it was useless.The day before the last day was here.Everyone had gotten their yearbook it was afterschool and every one was signing them.I didn't get mine.I saw him and he asked me to sign his.He didn't ask me really,he just handed me the i signed it and I walked to the front of the school watching him walk away.I was outside with a Ricky (a guy friend) and his friends when then I saw carlyn walking home.I couldn't take my eyes off of him.I started to cry.I started to feel this knot in my throat and my eyes were starting to feel heavy and then tears started streaming down my face.Then in my head this really sad song by *LiT* "Miserable" kept on playing over and over in my head.One of Ricky's friends saw me and asked me why I was crying.I said "Oh,It's nuthing.Just a thing that's in my eyes" and tried to laugh it off but then Ricky tells him tat it's becuz i like Carlyn and then Melvin yells out at Carlyn and says says "Hey,Carlyn.Come here Cristal's crying!" I was dying in that momemnt.I was like "Omg,why did u do that?"Then I saw Carlyn,he was on the other side of the street and he walks all the way over here and hugs me.I was soo happy. I felt goosebumps running all over my body.I can still feel his arms around me.I started to feel my temperature rise.That really made my day.But I was still kinda upset because there was only one day left till the schoolyear was over.I kept thinking about him the whole weekend.I even told my friend cynthia over msn.I couldn't stop talking about him.Then monday had come.The very last day of school and I was like "oh,no" .But the day i was dreading for all this time was finally here.I had bought a camera but the freaking thing didn't work.I was soo mad.Butit didn't matter.Because what I was really at school for was to see Carlyn.So then the bell rang and I went to first period.Yes! he was there.We were stuck in 1st period for like 4 hours!becuz the 8th grade ceremony was talking place.We were soo bored.I dug in my pockets and I remebered that I had brought 20 bucks to pay off a library book I was like "To hell with it!" after all it was the last day of school.Then I was like "Hey,I dare a guy to let us put makeup on him for 10 bucks!"and all the guys were all like "No way!","Never!"and stuff. I thought no one would do it when all of a sudden Carlyn says"I'll do it".I was like ,"Um...your doing what?"and the he's like "I will, I 'll do it."I was like "Ok."So then all the girls took out their makeup cases and then we gave him a full makeover.I hadn't even noticed but he let 'em do his nails also! i was like "Omg."All my friends were all like "Ew,U still like him?.What if he's gay."I was like I don't care.The fact that he was the only guy willing to do it,filled me with...pride.Cuz see,He was the only guy with enough GUTS to do it.So i told 'em "Heck yeah! I still like him".In fact I like him even more.It was soo funni.I gave him his 10$ and he was like "Thanks".Then our teach put on a movie "The Sandlot" everyone was like "Ugh".But I didn't care as long as I was with Carlyn.I sat down they turned off the lights and then Carlyn scooted right next to me.I was like ,I had the biggest smile on my was all funni,We were all making jokes about the movie and stuff.I kept trying to get close to him.I kept like putting my arm next to his.Then me, him and Cynthia(my bff) were playing "Cherry".This game where ur supposed to have ur fingers crossed and if sumone in the game catches u without them crossed u have to kiss sumone of their choice.Both of them got caught except me. I was the last one to get caught.So then cynthia was all like "You kiss Carlyn".lol.Then we were making couples in the class.I was like "Carlyn and Cynthia" and he was like "No Way".Then i said," Ok,hen kiss etc..."And he said "I'd rather kiss you".I stopped and I was like...I didn't know how to take that.Then the 4 hours were finally over and we went outside where there was supposed to be activities but since there weren't any i went to find my gurlfriends and we were walking around and stuff my friends were all like "C'mon Cristal!This is the last day of school, you HAVE to do this!u have to tell him."I was like "I already did" And they were all like "Well,ask him how he feels about it".i was like "No Way.I would never be able to do that.I'd rather die than ask him THAT!"We saw him with his group of friends and we were all "Stalking " we "accidently" bumped into him and I was like looking away,Trying to keep my cool.But u could tell i was burning up inside.We went and got a Soda and walked around again.We went and stood next to the gurls lockers and he sat down on a table a few feet fom us.I kept talking to my friends without taking my eyes off of him.He saw me lookig at him.But this time I didn't look away.Then we started to walk around again and we saw him with this guy doing all these um..exotic umm....dances,I guess u could call it .lol.And we took it as an excuse to just hang with them.Then my friends,me and Carlyn were talking and joking and stuff .My friend Roberto came in our convo and I walked away from the group and I started crying.I cried like three times there.I felt like such a dofus,But I couldn't help it.The tension,the anxiousness,the fear of the time when we would have to say good bye was overwhelming.So then while I was away I overheard my friend asking him if he liked me,He said "Like a friend."I was devastated my heart was broken once again and I felt so angry at myself.I was starting to act very sarcastically becuz I was angry at my self for being the fool once more.I had promised that i wouldn't let myself fall for any guy until I was like 20 but I couldn't live up to my promise.I felt that I had brought all of this to myself.We all got back together and I just kept my cool u know?I tried to make them think that I was alright.?That I hadn't been broken.I was cool.Then my friend Cynthia came in and she was all like "Ok so who's gonna kiss who?" I'm like "I don't know".So then we finally decided.She was gonna kiss Andrew and I was gonna kiss Carlyn.The this girl asked Carlyn if he wanted me to kiss him and he was like "I dunno."Then she came up to me and she was all"He so wanted to kiss u gurl.U could tell."I kept thinking in my head "I couldn't tell S***" Then the bell rang, no one even got kissed .I didn't even say goodbye to him.I was so sad the song started play in my head again,hot tears flooded my eyes and I just walked away to the front of the school I was walking down the hall when I saw him.We just looked into eachothers eyes,But I just kept on walking.I couldn't stop myself.Then I stood in the front of the school with Auriel and Lacey and I saw him walk away.I started to cry and the way that he always came and hugged me when i cried,He didn't hug me.That was the saddest goodbye of my life.I wanted to die that moment .I felt I couldn't live without him.I got on the bus it was half empty and I was sitting by my guyfriend Ricky.I couldn't get is face out of my heart.I closed my eyes and he was there, he was always there.Everything thyat we went through went across my mind.Since the first day I met him.It was like I was reliving all those moments.I took out my notebook where I had written all about him I got it and I couldn't find pen,I wanted to cross him out of my life forever .So I got my eyeliner and crossed out his name in every single page,in every single poem,in every single note.I wanted to erase all those memories.But I was being stupid by thinking crossing out a simple piece of paper would get him out of my heart.I cried all the way home.My friend told me to stop crying.But I couln't help it.It was truly the worst day of my life.I arrived at home and my mom saw me from the window.She asked what was wrong.I didn't say anything. I locked myself in my room for hours and cried myself to sleep .I started to console myself by thinking that everything happens for a reason,that it wasn't meant to be.And for a few days I was alright but then my friend Cynthia told me that she saw him.I was like omg...and I fell in love with him once again.I had told her to tell him that I missed him next time she saw him.The next day she told me she did and that he was happy.I was happy too.Now I know that I am truly in love with him because I would do anything for him.Anything at all.Like that song "Everyhing I Do" says "I would fight for you,I'd lie for you,Walk a while for you,Yeah I'd die for you.You know its true,everything i do,i do it for you."But this time I'll try to be more careful. I'll be sure to be smart about it so I won't get my heart broken again.

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